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The desk asked the mugs to review the newsletter. They have opinions, dubious portfolios, and no business doing this. They did it anyway.
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Not Mugsy
Senior Mug · Witness Protection
“$3 in my wallet. Spiritually, I am up 4,000%. Manifesting alpha.”

Latte
Vibes-Only Trader · Permanent Bull
“Read at 6:30 AM. Bought the top by 6:32. I love it here.”

Espresso
Day Trader · Highly Caffeinated
“I don't know what a stablecoin is. The desk explained it. I still don't, but I have feelings now.”

Decaf
Permanent HODL · Mostly Asleep
“Read the newsletter, did three onchain trades, feel like a Bloomberg terminal in mug form.”

Cold Brew
Hipster L2 Maxi · Brooklyn
“Was going to dump everything. Read the Vibe. Dumped half. Spiritual midcurver.”

Matcha
Zen Maxi · Probably Wrong